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From the strength of my mind....

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From an early age I heard and believed that my mind was my greatest asset.
Little did I know, that around thirty years after discovering its potential, my mind would become my worst enemy.  After almost a decade of fertility problems, surgeries, IVF and complicated miscarriages, all on top of the strain of parents’ illness and professional exams, I now live with PTSD, anxiety, depression and perhaps the most limiting, agoraphobia.
Today, I’m essentially living on two different sides of the same coin. On the one side, I’ve lost my mind, my independence, my babies, my career and almost my marriage. On the other side, I live in a beautiful place, in a gorgeous little house and have some amazing friends and great hobbies in my life. I started this blog to share some of my reflections on the events I’ve been through, and how I try to keep that coin the right side up. We’re led to believe that mental health problems accompany weakness. The truth? They involve great strength.

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Mental Health Support


When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year.

You can call them free on 116 123 (within the UK or Ireland) or email them at

Whoever you are and whatever you’re facing, they won’t judge you or tell you what to do. They’re here to listen so you don’t have to face it alone.

Miscarriage association:

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Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a type of anxiety disorder which occurs in some people following a traumatic event. As well as anxiety, low mood, and panic attacks, it can also cause many physical symptoms such as problems concentrating and sleeping. It is usually associated with disturbing flashbacks of the traumatic event. It can develop at any time after the traumatic event, in some cases years afterwards. It can be successfully treated.


Most people worry from time to time in their life. Anxiety is when worry becomes detrimental to you and your life, but can also cause physical symptoms such as fatigue, problems sleeping, poor concentration and muscle tension. Anxiety may cause you to develop phobias, obsessive behaviour (Obsessive compulsive disorder – OCD) or have panic attacks. It can be successfully treated.


The symptoms of depression vary from person to person in type and severity. They can include low mood but also physical symptoms such as fatigue, sleep and appetite problems and pain. Anxiety and depression can often go together, but not always. Both can be successfully treated.


Miscarriage is when a baby (or fetus or embryo) dies in the uterus during pregnancy.  In the UK, that definition applies to pregnancies up to 23 weeks and 6 days, and any loss from 24 weeks is called a stillbirth. If the baby is born alive, even before 24 weeks, and lives even for a matter of minutes, that is considered a live birth and a neonatal death. 

Taken from


Infertility or subfertility is when a couple are unable to become pregnant after 12 months of regular unprotected intercourse.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a talking therapy involving regular appointments with a therapist. The aim is to try and identify behaviours and thoughts which may be unhelpful and replace them with positive alternatives. It has been proven to be effective in treating a wide range of conditions.

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